Hi there! Timmy here.
I know Iíve come into things a little late here, But I would like to announce my candidacy for the running for Prime Minister of Great Britain.
I am sure that I can come up with many vows that will help gain me all the votes that I require to become the next Prime Minister, and as many have shown in the past, you donít need to stick to your promises once you are in office anyway.
My best friend, Richard, suggested I should run in this election and when he did so I replied, ďthatís a very good suggestion, but could perhaps be ruled out on the grounds of my naughtiness and stupidity, which is considerable,Ē I really have no brains at all, being a tyre of course.
But Richard said, well someone has got to do something, as he canít understand how we can look round our nation of 65 million and decide that only Jeremy Corbyn or Theresa May could possibly lead us. He thinks thatís amazingÖ Not that Iím going to be abusing those other fine candidates, I respect them both and look forward to meeting them in the near future and perhaps getting their autographs.
I feel we have a lot in common, our simple mindedness and ability to lie will be an especially powerful bond.
Richard has also said that in the US of A they also have a new leader. It seems to be the same everywhere, they all have this hair problem that just doesnít seem to be the choice these days.
You see, my best friend, Richard Head is very in the know in politic so he is going to be my running mate and Senior Adviser. This seems rather fitting as I believe every Senior Adviser in office has been a Dick Head.
For the second, time I have tried running in the General Election and for the second time I have failed at becoming the next Prime Minister of Great BritainÖ
But hopefully this will be different this year with my fine choice of running mate.
*My Senior Adviser failed to inform me that the Election was last week. Living up to his name as usual!